There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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