I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
