Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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