Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
