I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
