therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
His nipple licking is glorious
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