I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
