woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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