You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
