No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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