I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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