She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
