Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
