The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
