whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
