no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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