i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She said her name was "party"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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