i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
