You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
