Having a random hookup so left but love u
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
