hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
