watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
