The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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