You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
