too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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