2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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