I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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