Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
