beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
