Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
