Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
