GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize