Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
