i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
only you would photoshop your dick
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I didn't notice because vodka
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
