Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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