If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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