she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
