when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Randomize
