I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
