I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
