Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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