Don't you send me to vm
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
