Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
