Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
