I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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