the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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