If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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