I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
false alarm. still invincible.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
