That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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