you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
