What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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