I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize