forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
