did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
