if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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