Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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