I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
