First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
