he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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